Losing It All

06Nov07

Last night, I discovered that my blog Girl From a Small Town (which was previously hosted on Blogger) was deleted.  I deleted my Google account, and little did I know that that would completely eliminate my Blogger blog and everything I have written in the past three to four years.  It was really devastating!  I cried so hard that my cheeks turned red and I made blubbering sounds.  Chris, my boyfriend, patted me on the head and gave me a gift certificate for a massage.  I had to admit, I felt a little better.  But never have I felt such a sense of loss of accomplishment.  My complilation of stories, articles, thoughts and dreams is something I was very proud of, and losing it all in one moment is heartbreaking. 

Then I “slept on it” last night, and today I feel a little better.  I realize that I am, indeed, a writer — and all I have to do is continue writing, and I will build something even bigger and better than before.  It is fun to go back and read about my “previous lives”, though, and I will miss being able to delve deeply into my past and explore how I’ve grown whenever I feel like it.  However, I do believe that things happen for a reason, and maybe this is the kick I needed in order to create something more inspiring than before.

The complete loss of something is a profound lesson.  It is like losing someone you love — you grieve, but then you get on with your life because you have no other choice.  You just have to.  And no one else can help you but yourself.  You take the good things that you can from the past, and you continue to grow and expand upon that life experience.  Hopefully some good will come out of losing everything I’ve written in the past three to four years.  If anything, I have learned to regularly back up everything I write! 

Filed under: Loss, Writers' Angst   |  1 Comment
Tags: Loss, Writers' Angst, writing