On Being a Writer
Am I even considered a writer if I’ve never been published? I don’t seem to know the right people to get my foot in the door. In my heart I am a writer, but in my head I am not a writer – writers don’t make any money unless they get published, so how can I be a “success” at my dream if I cannot even get one thing published? I have not made any money from my writing, so how am I supposed to feel successful? Yeah, I know, I know … money does not necessarily mean success, but it’s frustrating to watch your dream stand idle as time passes and no one shows any interest. It gets old. It gets old fast.
But, I will not give up. I’ll be honest, it is in my character to simply give up when the going gets tough. That’s what I do. That’s what I have always done. This time is different. Something is niggling at me and whispering “don’t give up.” That little voice echoes in between my ears every time I put down the pen or turn off the laptop. That little voice is the voice of guilt, and it’s relentless. It has always followed me around through life, and now its primary mission is to make my life a living hell by constantly reminding me that I give up too easily. So … I’m not going to give up. Not this time. My story must be shared for whatever reason. My heart tells me this is so; it reminds me to keep trekking every time I get close to throwing in the towel.
I’ll keep trekking.
Trekking. What a stupid word.
I won’t stop until that memoir is broken down into the smallest possible pieces. It would have to burn into ash and be scattered into a gust of wind before I’d consider it worthless. Even then, at least it would spread and offer itself to nature, becoming more than it ever was on its own. I will always defend my memoir, my baby, my one true accomplishment. Unsophisticated and choppy as it may be in its current state, it is the truth for me and some other girl feeling pain in her life.
I will keep my fingers crossed and my gaze fixed forward. I will continue to believe that important dreams do come true. Some things have a spirit all their own, and I believe my memoir will find its way into the right hands whether or not it makes its way to the bookshelves of Barnes & Noble.
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Tags: goals, motivation, on being a writer, Writers' Angst, writing, writing goals, writing woes
You’re a writer when all other considerations fall by the wayside–work, eating, relationships–and you become utterly devoted to the printed word. When you’re not writing, you’re thinking about writing; it’s the first thing that comes to mind upon awakening and the last thing to flit through consciousness before you doze. You cease to read for enjoyment, every book or article you browse is subjected to your critical scrutiny. You don’t have to be published to be a writer but writing must be your raison d’etre, the most important aspect of your identity. You write continuously, intensely, sometimes in great spurts, on other occasions through gritted teeth but ALWAYS you write…