Taking Away his Best Friend … The Binky
So today is the day. As I sit here in the kitchen, typing, I listen to the sound of my 20-month old and his agonizing cries from his crib. Just before nap time, I cut a small hole in the top of his binky — a tip I learned from Googling “weaning a toddler off a binky” (I absolutely love Google.) Now I am having second thoughts as I hear the pain in his little voice. Of course, I am a mom and any type of pain he feels — whether it’s physical, emotional or whatever — I feel. But I feel worse because I am the one causing his pain this time. I suppose it’s for his own good. His teeth have less of a chance to be permanently damaged this way. He won’t be made fun of in high school when people find out he still uses a binky. He will be ok, and that is all because of this temporary “pain”. I am a good enough parent — this is what I keep reciting to myself over and over and over.
I guess it took me this long to attempt the binky-weaning project because there is nothing that I can think of that gives him the same sheer pleasure of seeing and grabbing his binky before a nap or bedtime. We jokingly call his binky “crack” because it seems like his addiction to it is not only severe and utterly enjoyable, it also seems necessary … necessary for sleep and necessary for complete happiness. Now that binky will slowly be shrinking and soon be gone, what will replace this? Is this where we parents go wrong and create addictive personalities in our children, or is this all just a part of the painful, inevitable parenting process? I’m not sure — although I do think it’s the latter — but can I just give a big “this sucks”? This sucks. Poor little guy.
I guess the most annoying part of the situation is that his daddy is probably going to end up being right … “give it time”, he says, “it’ll be fine by Monday, guaranteed.” So, in some ways, I hope it isn’t for the sake of being right, but I have a daunting feeling that I’m not lucky enough to be right. But then again, I do want the little guy to be happy, so giving up being right seems a small price to pay.
I guess I better go check on him and put phony binky back in his mouth and reassure him that the world is good and everything really will be ok.
Filed under: Toddler | 2 Comments
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Just did the same with my 16mo old last week, although we took her off cold-turkey. She still occassionally will have “fixes” which send her into screaming hysterics, but they are getting fewer and farther between.
Hang in there, as I learned with my two kids, the first few days are the worst. It does get easier after day 3…..
Thanks for your comment — last night went amazingly well … almost no fussing when he realized the binky wasn’t the “same”, and he slept till morning. I heard him a couple of times throughout the night, but he put himself back to sleep each time. Knock on wood, though, I never like to speak too soon when it comes to Quen!