Oh how I long for the day where I don’t have to choose between a journal entry, scooping dog poop or taking a hot bath!  I can’t believe that I used to have hours on end of free time to do as I please, and I usually ended up wasting it anyway.  The things we don’t know before we have kids…the time we have but don’t even realize it.  However, my time now is better spent shaping humans of the future, so although I may stink and have a dumpy backyard, at least I am now contributing to society in a meaningful way.  Let’s just hope the kids turn out okay, or I’m royally screwed.

So, here’s the latest in why I’m the Worst Mom Ever:

1.)   I let Quen watch ridiculous amounts of computer “TV”.  My thinking is if it’s some type of mini-episode of something on the computer, it’s not actual TV.  It’s educational, so it’s ok.

2.)   Quen was playing with these hard plastic balls that go with a little Weeble house…they are very hard and not heavy, but they are not light either…well, he tossed one into the air, and all I heard was the sick “thud”…the ball plopped right on top of sissy’s head…it was probably on her soft spot that may or may not have closed up by now.  Hopefully this doesn’t cause long-term damage…

3.)   Now that sissy doesn’t cry ALL the time, I put her in her Exersaucer to “play” more often than I probably should.  I’m sorry, but four months of continuous holding and/or babywearing is enough sister…go play or something.

Love and hugs and all that good stuff.  I love all my royal pains in the butt that I call my family.  More “worst mom” stuff later…

I guess it took me this long to attempt the binky-weaning project because there is nothing that I can think of that gives him the same sheer pleasure of seeing and grabbing his binky before a nap or bedtime.  We jokingly call his binky “crack” because it seems like his addiction to it is not only severe and utterly enjoyable, it also seems necessary … necessary for sleep and necessary for complete happiness.  Now that binky will slowly be shrinking and soon be gone, what will replace this?  Is this where we parents go wrong and create addictive personalities in our children, or is this all just a part of the painful, inevitable parenting process?  I’m not sure — although I do think it’s the latter —  but can I just give a big “this sucks”?  This sucks.  Poor little guy.

I guess the most annoying part of the situation is that his daddy is probably going to end up being right … “give it time”, he says, “it’ll be fine by Monday, guaranteed.” So, in some ways, I hope it isn’t for the sake of being right, but I have a daunting feeling that I’m not lucky enough to be right. But then again, I do want the little guy to be happy, so giving up being right seems a small price to pay.

I guess I better go check on him and put phony binky back in his mouth and reassure him that the world is good and everything really will be ok.

There was a time not so long ago, just a few years actually, that if something happened that was “outside of my box” of life expectations and experiences, I would freak out.  It didn’t have to be something too crazy … let’s just say I got a speeding ticket or missed a workout … it was out of the ordinary for me and threw my life into a frenzy.  How would I pay for the ticket when I had already allotted my money for the month?  How would I function without my scheduled workout?  

I can’t believe how much I stifled myself.  And, I do still catch myself doing it from time to time.  The rational side of me realizes that the world will not, in fact, coming crashing down if I don’t jump rope for thirty minutes.  Quen will still love me if I get frustrated about changing his diaper while he’s a wiggle worm.  I will not gain twenty pounds overnight if I miss a workout … or three.  Earthquakes will not happen if we order carryout instead of cooking dinner, even though we have all the ingredients necessary to make the perfect meal.  But there is still that nagging irrational side of me that swears up and down that the world will stop if I do something different.  

I work on stepping outside of my “little boxes” every day, although it is really an uphill battle for someone that color codes her closet and has always organized life into specific categories.  Sometimes being human really cramps my style, but I guess that is what makes the journey interesting.  Realizing it helps me focus on teaching my son that life is messy … not perfect — but the real challenge is believing and living my own advice.  I think I’ll break my mold for today and go take a nap.

I guess the best things in life are those that we never expect.  I never expected a tiny baby to change me from the inside-out.  I never expected to fall in love with a little person — I never liked babies much, but now there is no one I like more (well, that’s not entirely true, I like dad just as much!) I never expected that losing more and more sleep every night would be so worth it.  But it is.  Just seeing his face, his chubby little fingers and toes and his hand that lies on my chest as he nurses makes me appreciate everything around me so much more than I ever did before.  Whenever I feel like things are hard and monotonous, I remember how lucky we are to have a healthy, happy baby.  The journey is so much easier to enjoy than it was before.  I now see what life is all about.  At least some of it anyway …

Of course, I don’t have it all figured out, but I have some of it figured out.  And ”some” is enough for me. 

Well, there’s a laugh!  It just does, doesn’t it?  And those of you who are already parents probably know exactly what I mean.  I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments about raising a “minimalist” baby.  I think it’s completely possible, but I want to hear feedback from the clutter-ridden to the absolutely minimalistic.  Although we are not total minimalists, we thrive on having a simple household — I truly believe there is a happy medium in which we buy and keep things that we love, use or need.  And that’s it.  If anything doesn’t fit into one of those three categories, it goes to charity, the recycle bin or — as a last resort — the garbage.

Here are 10 useful tips (I’ve found) on preparing for your first newborn: 

1.  Wait until after the baby shower to buy.  So far, we’ve had a baby shower and we received many items that we will definitely use (products and such).  My suggestion is to not buy anything such as baby shampoos, soaps, wipes and diapers until after your baby shower.  People will most likely buy these things for you.  You will also receive gift cards, and these will come in handy to buy the things you still need after the shower is over.

2.  Definitely have a baby shower for your first baby.  Even if you only invite a few people, a baby shower is a time not only to receive special gifts and wishes from people you care about, it’s a time to celebrate the new family member that will soon enter your lives.

3.  Keep your baby shower simple.  Forget center pieces.  Forget renting a hall or restaurant space.  Invite people that are closest to you.  Have it in your home if at all possible.  Order catering (so you don’t have to cook/prepare food).  Obtain the help of a friend or parent to help you clean the day before.  Enlist another friend to help with handwritten or computer generated invitations and keeping things organized on shower day.  People understand that you are close to giving birth, and they will not expect you to be the hostess of the year for your shower.  Sometimes it’s easy to forget how sympathetic others are — there is no need to pull off the “perfect” shower — just have fun, open gifts and enjoy your guests.

4.  Do not feel like you have to use the “must-have” newborn checklists on mega baby store websites.  These lists are designed to get you to buy as much stuff as possible.  From the layette to toys to bottles to strollers, it can all be very overwhelming.  The best things I did to see what I absolutely needed was to 1.) ask friends that already have babies what they absolutely needed and what they could do without and 2.) read the book Baby Bargains – it answers so many questions for first time parents and tells you what you absolutely need and what you do not.  You can get it used or new from Amazon.com, or borrow a copy from a friend.  Even if you don’t have the newest version, you’ll still benefit from reading it.

5.  Get creative and stay simple when decorating your baby’s nursery.  Why must we paint the baby’s nursery pale pink or blue and buy all the fancy “trimmings” like quilts that can’t even be used in the crib anyway?  Let me be the one to tell you … the baby does not care what his or her nursery looks like.  He will not remember.  Do you remember your baby nursery?  Buy or use furniture that will grow with the child instead of baby-looking furniture like white or pale wood.  I think it’s important for a child to love his own space once he’s old enough to appreciate and remember it — it’s something you can do together once he’s old enough.  But, as for an infant, do what doesn’t require 1.) a lot of work, 2.) a lot of paint, and 3.) a lot of “fuss” (too many stuffed animals, blankets, toys, etc.)  Simplicity starts from the very beginning, and if you want to instill that mindset into your child, you must start from day one so things don’t start accumulating.

6.  Breastfeed if you can.  This eliminates the need for extra bottles, nipples, formula, bottle warmers (which don’t work well anyway and aren’t recommended even for formula) and burp rags (your baby will spit up less with breast milk).  Breastfeeding is the best possible food for your baby — not only that, but it’s also the simplest!  You can go anywhere and always have food “on hand” (or “on breast” … however you want to look at it!)  Don’t give up early if you feel you just can’t do it … keep trying, and your baby will thank you in more ways than one. 

7.  Don’t feel bad buying second-hand clothing or accepting hand-me-downs from friends and family.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with using second hand clothes for babies.  Think about it — babies outgrow their clothes about every three months until they are in school.  Why would we buy all new clothes everytime they have a growing spurt?  The great thing about this is, used clothes clean up like new with some fragrance free detergent and fabric softener.  No one will ever know but you … and maybe your “baby” when he becomes a teenager!

8.  Buy or use products that “transition” into something else.  Some examples of this include:  cribs that transition into toddler and then full-size beds, carseats that can be used as carriers and also insert into your stroller, carseats that transition into bigger carseats (so you don’t have to keep buying new ones), pack ‘n plays that can be used as a bassinet, changing table and playpen.  These products will last longer and transition with your baby as he grows older.

9.  Create your own list of baby needs and wants.  Start from scratch with a list of things you think you may need or want with a new baby, and then think of places or people that you can get these things from without buying them (or getting them dirt cheap … ebay is a great start!)  Stick to your guns when people try to tell you you need something when you clearly know you don’t.  Chances are, you won’t.  You definitely need the basics when taking care of a baby, but the “frills” are for the parents sake only — not the baby’s — you just don’t need all that extra stuff.  Truly think about what will make your life easier for you and your child during those first few months, and that’s it.

10.  Simplify your own home.  This entire website is about simplifying your life.  If you haven’t taken action to simplify your own life before this new life comes into your life, now is as good a time as any.  You may have that nesting instinct kicking in, so take advantage of it, and perhaps enlist the help of a spouse or friend to go through your home (little by little) getting rid of things that no longer serve your new life.  I promise you, once you get on this “kick”, it will carry over into your life as a new parent, and you’ll want to keep things simple even with your new little one.

I hope this list helps you get started and takes away some of the overwhelming feelings that come along with being a first time parent.  You really don’t need all the stuff that stores and even well-meaning friends and family press upon you.  Be who you are, stick to what you believe and continue your minimalist-like lifestyle, even with a new baby in the mix.

So … as many of you already know … we are having a BOY!  Chris and I are both so excited because (deep down) it is what we both REALLY wanted.  Yes, a girl would be just as loved, but there’s something about getting your wish that makes it all the better.

The past few weeks have been the craziest in my life, perhaps.  Chris proposed about 2 weeks ago at our favorite restaurant with 6 of our fabulous friends present.  They held up a huge sign that said, “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”, and when I turned around, there was Chris holding the ring box with the most beautiful princess-cut diamond I have ever seen.  It honestly is, and I couldn’t have done a better job picking out a ring myself … the best part is we never went and looked at rings together or anything — he did it strictly from his heart, and that is part of what made it so special.  We have joked on an off about marriage, especially since I’ve been pregnant, but never in a million years did I expect it to happen now.  I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my two boys.

So what has this little tike in my belly been up to lately?  Well, he’s active as heck.  He seems to do somersaults especially after I eat “worldly” foods like Mideastern Veggie Gallahba or Mexican.  The spices seem to set him off into a frenzy of acrobatics that can be seen from the outside of my stomach.  It’s very alien-like & creepy for a first-time mom, but it makes me smile inside everytime it happens.  It’s not a sweet “butterfly” sensation like I’ve read about in the pregnancy books — it’s like an annoying little kid tap-tap-tapping on my belly from the inside, wanting to be noticed.  Don’t worry, little one, you are noticed.  Another way to explain it would be like a muscle twitch, but stronger … and not regular — the movements are very sporadic, and sometimes I find myself sitting there for long periods of time watching and waiting for it to happen again.  Already my adult passtimes have turned into something far less educational — but it’s far more fun & meaningful than any book I have ever read.

So far, this experience of being pregnant has changed me.  I stare at and rub my belly in disbelief when I’m alone.  Sometimes when I catch a glimpse of my newly round profile in a reflective surface, it reminds me that my life will be forever changed in less than 4 short months.  Already, we sit and talk about how things will be different, but I know we cannot truly know how different that is until we get there and are amidst dirty diapers, feedings and night-time cries.  But like everything else worthwhile in life — it’s worth waiting for, and it’s worth the work and self-sacrifice because of the meaning, love & life experience that will come with it.

 We can’t wait to meet you little guy.

1.  Pick up daily.  The best way to maintain a “neat” looking home is to pick up the random stuff lying around and causing eye sores (a.k.a. clutter).  If you make it a routine or ritual each morning, right after you wake up (feed the baby, feed the dogs, whatever), you will no longer have stuff monsters everywhere you turn.  Simply pick stuff up.  Put things where they belong.  Everything you own should have its own home, and if it doesn’t, that will be discussed in previous or later blog entried.  Or see, services for more information in this area.

2.  Make a weekly list of tasks.  Create a list with all the days of the week.  Feel free to give yourself a “day off” from doing anything.  On the days you are “on”, however, write down one of the cleaning tasks that you would do on a “deep cleaning” day.  For example, if you vacuum all the rooms during “deep cleaning” day, make that a weekly task on, say, Monday.  Perhaps you have two big labs that shed constantly and you prefer to vacuum 2-3 times per week.  That’s cool too; just remember to write it down on the days you will plan to do it from this day forward.  Go through all your “deep cleaning” tasks and assign a day to each one.  Some days might have 2 or 3, but they should be easy-peasy tasks, not involved tasks that take up too much time.  (For example, you might quick-vacuum all rooms and dust your bedroom on one day.)

3.  Empty all garbage cans.  Sometimes the simplest things can make a huge difference.  If you are feeling zealous each morning while you perform your Daily Pickup, empty all the little garbage cans around your home into the big “master” trash either in your kitchen or garage.  This will make your home look fresh & inviting and will also make garbage day a cinch.

4.  Perform a quick purge.  You might want to perform this task before you start your maintenance fun.  The definition of a quick purge is just that.  Do a quick purge.  By quick, I mean set a timer for about 15 minutes and briskly walk around your home with a big, black garbage bag.  Throw away anything that doesn’t mean anything to you.  Just toss it and never look back.  If you find things that are good items but you no longer want them, those are items worth donating.  Find a box to put these items in, and then put that box in the back seat of your car right away (or put them on eBay as soon as humanly possible if you can’t find it in your heart to give them away).  Performing a quick purge about once a week will soon clear your home in ways you never imagined.

5.  Forget being perfect.  This is so important.  So important, in fact, that I’ve written another blog posting just about this: Perfection Exits the Building.  One of the biggest traps of spending too much time cleaning is trying to get every nook and cranny clean.  Let’s face it, we are human.  We like a clean environment, sure, but if there’s a dust bunny under the couch that won’t budge (but you swear it’s there), you really don’t have to move the entire couch to get to it.  Yes, really.  No one will know but you.  And that’s ok!  If you want to deep clean that badly, set a monthly task for yourself to focus on one large deep cleaning project (e.g. sweeping under the couch for dust bunnies).  Perhaps that’ll put your dust bunny fears to sleep once and for all.

So you see, maintaining a clean home can be as easy as doing 1 or 2 small tasks a day.  Never again will you have to slave away for hours at a time inhaling Clorox bleach and ammonia vapors at the same time.  Whew — doesn’t that feel better?

A bookcase can be a handy and creative piece of furniture … if you let it.  Sure, you can fill it up with books and magazines, but how about a few of these ideas to get your bookcase glowing with creativity:

1. Use a few of the arm-level shelves as a place to put your keys & wallet/purse when you first come in the front door.  Then, on the shelves just above that, put some framed pictures that make you feel good when you look at them.
2. “Things” in your home that DON’T have a home — can they be beautifully displayed?  How about on your new “display-shelf?”  A bookcase serves as a great place to show off things that would otherwise not have a place to “live”.  Although having too much shtuff is never a good idea, displaying a few meaningful items on an otherwise bland bookcase can turn your room into a much warmer place.
3. Baskets!  Baskets!  Baskets!  Do you have some “ugly” but useful things that clutter up your living room, office or wherever?  Get some cool-looking baskets that fit nicely into your bookshelf and fill them up with things like blankets, remote controls, toys, workout equipment, loose papers and more.  Use your imagination, and you can pretty much think of anything ugly that needs hidden!  One of my favorite things to do is to get baskets that contrast in color to the bookshelf (e.g.  black baskets in a white bookshelf).
4. Mix it up!  Use each of the shelves for something different for an eclectic look.  Try a treasure chest on the bottom, a few books stacked neatly in the middle on the second shelf, some black & white framed photos on the third and some baskets holding “ugly” (or pretty) stuff on the fourth, and so on.  You get the picture.  The key here is that really NOTHING is off limits.  Anything can be made to look great if you get those creative juices flowing.

Bookcases are a great way to store or show off your cherished shtuff.  So here’s to taking advantage of that beautiful piece of furniture today!  I’d also love to hear your comments about the unique ways you’ve used your bookcase.

So, I think I’m finally over losing all my work from my previous blog (on Blogger).  I’m very disappointed in Blogger in that they never got back to me about helping me get my blog back — and, I think it’s a disgrace, and I’ll be sure to tell everyone I know not to use them if they can help it.  DON’T USE BLOGGER IF YOU CHERISH YOUR WORK!  OK, I’m done venting now. 

So, for anyone that missed gruesome details about pregancy, I’m back!  I’m about 17 1/2 weeks along, and things are starting to feel really “real”.  It’s so weird being pregnant, it really is.  I think it’s even weirder since the pregnancy was completely unexpected since I never had a chance to get used to the idea that I’d be growing a little alien in my tummy. (And I know it’s an alien because when the Dr. used the Doppler to listen to the heartbeat last week, it made a very alien sound that even the Dr. didn’t recognize, and we both couldn’t stop laughing.)  The first trimester, although disgusting due to nausea and gas, was sort of a “bliss” period in which I could easily fit into all my normal clothes, continue to go out into the world without feeling like peeing every six seconds and kind of gloating in my own little personal world of “being pregnant”.  Now that people know, it’s odd because everyone always asks how I’m doing (but what they really mean is how are you feeling since you’re pregnant and probably really uncomfortable right now … and also secretly grateful that it’s not them).  I just realized the other day that never again will anyone ask how I am doing “just because”.  It was always be because I’m pregnant or after pregnancy they will ask about me, my child and/or my family.  Wow, I’m going to have a family.  That is really something, but it’s a good something.  All these little realizations hit every once in awhile, and I think they are coming more and more because I can really notice my stomach popping out now — so it’s 100% real.  I can no longer “suck it in” — it hurts to suck it in, so it’s good to actually let it all hang out and let the belly do what it’s supposed to do. 

 Thank god my jeans still fit … for now anyway. 

There are no weird food cravings lately.  The second trimester really is so much better like everyone said it would be.  The only weird side effects happening lately are sudden tiredness (I just can’t stay up for a movie OR get up in the morning … and that is so unlike me) and sharp twinges in my lower abdomen when I move weird … it’s those ligaments stretching.  And I’ll probably look like I’ve aged 10 years on the left side of my face by the time this is all over because sleeping on my left side is the only comfortable way to sleep (that, and Chris told me that I’ll kill the baby if I sleep any other way … but what he really means is that I am way over on my side of the bed, and it’s a convenient excuse to give him more room in bed at night for at least 5 more months).  I also noticed my belly button looks different, and that’s when I realized that it’s stretching out and preparing for future months when it will probably pop out like a turkey timer on Thanksgiving day.  Hot.

Actually, “don’t kill the baby” is our new saying around the house … I say it when Chris tickles me too hard, plays too rough or pushes the dogs on me.  I say it when I think he doesn’t cook the meat long enough and doesn’t take the trash out.    What can I say, it’s maternal instinct … and it just sounds funny too.

I will continue to keep you updated on the fun trials & tribulations of being pregnant.  I’ll always strive to be honest, no matter how bad it gets … promise.  Next week we find out if we’re having a Quentin or a Summer.  Stay tuned.

Then I “slept on it” last night, and today I feel a little better.  I realize that I am, indeed, a writer — and all I have to do is continue writing, and I will build something even bigger and better than before.  It is fun to go back and read about my “previous lives”, though, and I will miss being able to delve deeply into my past and explore how I’ve grown whenever I feel like it.  However, I do believe that things happen for a reason, and maybe this is the kick I needed in order to create something more inspiring than before.

The complete loss of something is a profound lesson.  It is like losing someone you love — you grieve, but then you get on with your life because you have no other choice.  You just have to.  And no one else can help you but yourself.  You take the good things that you can from the past, and you continue to grow and expand upon that life experience.  Hopefully some good will come out of losing everything I’ve written in the past three to four years.  If anything, I have learned to regularly back up everything I write!